Rick Ross is a fucking cartoon character from Japan. Just like the Japanesse took Air Force 1s dipped em in LSD crazy paint and came back at us with Bapes, I think they saw some pictures of Mr.T, a couple Miami Vice episodes and a fucked up 3rd generation dub of Scarface without subtitles and came back with Rick Ross. This happened in like 86, but it took em time to gestate dude too full on boss weight. I say that to say this, although dude is a complete over the top fabrication, he doesnt make bad records. This is fact. I fucked with Port Of Miami off of the monsterousness that was Hustlin, and found the rest of the album pretty fucking good with Mannie Fresh, The Runners and Jazzee Pha production. Trilla was awesome as shit too, with a million and one Vangelis synths and cigar boat racing beats.
Now we get Ross Deeper Than Rap and its alot less motorcycle car chases and alot more lounging on the veranda in white linen suits with pastel accents. Shits a soundtrack to some real tropical lounging. Yo my man Desmond, are those shrimp scampi still coming out? Excellent. Can you also bring us some fresh fruit too? Like some melons and mango and shit. Whatever you got laying around. Thanks a bunch Des.
This song/video has a hook by my boy The-Dream whose is killing it right now on that RnB shit (not killing it on that sweater piece though homey), and the whole thing is just extra canned peaches syrupy goodness with the Colombian back drop. This shit looks like it was paid for by the tourism board of Colombia, like at the end I expected it to just say Colombia: Its not just coke and kidnappings anymore! Note to self: Get house on mountain in Sorde Americano. Get infinity edge pool. Populate with ethnically ambiguous Frank Frazetta looking models. Ball outta control.
Similar posts: erotic wallpaper
- Mood:Very good
- Music:Sum 41
the eagerness of some literary “theorists” to shoehorn Marxism into their first year reading lists with the expectation that students be “conversant with” Marx’s ideas and claims - if not those of his numerous critics - supposedly as an “exploration of theoretical issues in the study of literature.” Terry Eagleton, for instance, seems to believe that Hamlet, Heart of Darkness and Ariel are best read with Marx in mind, though the literary benefits aren’t immediately obvious to me. Nor is it obvious in literary terms why Eagleton would present students with a reading list that includes no fewer than six books about Marxism and its alleged merits: Tony Bennett’s Formalism and Marxism, Eagleton’s Marxism and Literary Criticism, Eagleton’s Ideology, Eagleton’s Criticism and Ideology: A Study in Marxist Literary Theory, Raymond Williams’ Marxism and Literature, and Leon Trotsky’s Literature and Revolution.
Similar posts: erotic wallpaper
Similar posts: erotic wallpaper
- Mood:normal
- Music:Robbie Williams
The erotic sex blog is intended as a place where same minded people share their own experiences that they have acquired on the road to erotic sex mastery. Once in a while a new subject will be posted on the erotic blog covering different topics related to erotic sex and mastering the art of sexual eroticism and you can post your own opinions and experiences related to the matter at hand. The sharing of information will help all the readers have a more fun and exciting sexual life. Also you can ask erotic sex questions and I will answer them as soon as possible. The only condition is that the sex question must be a new one. So please search the erotic sex blog before posting a new question. Become an erotic sex master, let pleasure ripple throughout your whole body and take your partner on an ecstasy trip again and again. Come to the fun side of life. Be erotic. Be sexual. Master your sex life.
Similar posts: erotic wallpaper
Similar posts: erotic wallpaper
- Mood:normal
- Music:Pink
My life has never been a soap opera. It's been relatively uneventful. Before I went to college, the worst thing that ever happened to me is I didn't get my learner's permit on my first try. For a girl who lives outside of southern california and newEngland, I'm pretty spoiled. My family is an upper-middle class family in the heart of central Virginia. It's not exactly the most exciting place to live. In fact, it's downright dull. I wanted to make up a more interesting life for myself to people who would like me for it. I don't lie to people. Honesty is the most important thing to me. Trust is earned and valued. I had a good life with good friends but Iwanted some controversy in my life. I wanted my life to be more interesting. I know it's cliche, but be careful what you wish for. I don't regret the past three and a half years. I would do it all over again. They were the best of my life.
It all started in 2002 when I still had AOLand was allowed only 1 hour of internet a day. I would use it to go into the music chatroom on AOL and pretend to be someone else. Someone I totally made up, but whose life was far more interesting than mine. I didn't get too attached to it and found other things to do by the time I was a senior and we got rid of AOL and got comcast later that year. Ihad unlimited access to the internet but Iplayed neopets every chance II forgot about chatrooms and instant messenger until I went off to college in fall 2003. Freshmen couldn't have cars and I was a social recluse so there wasn't much for me to do but stay in my room. The internet was down for nearly a month because of a virus a freshman brought in with their new computer that ate its way through the routers. Once internet access was restored, however, I downloaded AIM and created a new persona for new people to love.
I called myself Blake, born on March 10, 1986, an 17 year old only child from Maryland who moved to Sacramento California just a couple years ago and loved Good Charlotte and Blink 182. I claimed I was so smart that Iskipped 9th grade. I made up some pretty outrageous things during the first few days to make myself appear worth knowing, because who would ever want to know Robin, an 18 year old college Freshman from Richmond, Virginia who never even left the country, let alone the East Coast. I was a boring person. Boring and ordinary. The first few days I used AIM and its chatrooms, Icouldn't tell the difference between music0 and music1, until a guy named Joe from Michigan told me to come into music0. I was already making friends. People liked me. I liked that. I should've stopped after a few days, but I got so attached that I would stay up all night and miss class so I could make up the sleep that I missed talking to Carrie, Michelle, and Joe the night before.
At first I was worried that Iwould be found out. That someone would track my IP or ask for pictures that I didn't have, or want to talk to me on the phone. It would've been easier that way; I could've just stopped getting online. I could've made a new screen name and I could've been honest. The drama that unfolded over the next few months certainly wouldn't have happened if Iweren't such an attention whore.
I developed a particularly close bond with a girl named Carrie, from New Jersey and one day she confessed to liking me a lot. So much so that it strained our friendship and caused her to lie to me that she was over it. It made talking a little easier but I tried to blow it out of proportion and milk the drama for all it was worth. I complained to as many people as I could about how appalled and hurt I was that she didn't think I deserved to know the truth, and that she couldn't be straight with her feelings about me. It made me sound a lot more trustworthy if I got that upset over someone else's lies.Iadded a twist to the whole situation by claiming to be in love with a girl named Jen, whom I called Smithifer. It was our own little e-triangle. It was some drama, but it wasn't enough. I told a select few people that I was experiencing kidney failure as a direct result of my diabletes I've had all my life.If I didn't get a kidney transplant, I had only 6 months to live. I figured I'd be over the chatroom and my new friends by then.
In my real life, I was experiencing college and living away from home for the first time. I have a desperate desire to please people and I have the hardest time saying no, so I joined a couple BIble groups that were just a waste of time to me. Ifinally couldn't take it anymore and resign myself to complete and total honesty, except on the intet because it's only the internet. It turned out to be my whole life for way too long.
Concerning my situation with Carrie and her unresolved feelings for me, Ibegan to confide in another Jen whom Icalled Jennifer for clarification. Joe began to confide in me about a girl named Ashley who was playing mind games with him and another guy named Shane. She ultimately chose Shane and Joe was crushed but she didn't stop there. She tried to steal Chris away from Lainey while she was still with Shane. And eventually, stole the first and so far only guy I've ever loved. I've never loved anyone more.
His name is Eric and we did not get along at all at first. We clashed over Ashley from the beginning.Even before he cheated with her on me. Carrie and I said what a horrible, heartless, selfish person she is, but he wouldn't listen. Ashley and my relationship was never officially defined as anything. We were nice to each other most of the time, in passing. But we never talked intimately after she thought I betrayed her by talking smack about her behind her back. Maybe that's why she stole my Eric away. But it wasn't until April 2004, only a few weeks after Eric and I decided to date because Ihad recently come out as being gay. Another twist in my internet fantasy life that would haunt me to this day.
Eric thought I was stupid and hyper and a clown. He didn't respect me because he didn't think I respected Ashley, who was still with Shane while she and Eric were gradually getting closer. But one day I said something intelligent and his whole perception of me changed. Since then we were inseparable. We did everything together in the chatroom. We had the same fonts and said the same things and liked the same music and had the same sense of humor. We even liked to annoy the same people. He defended me countless times to numerous people and lost a lot of friends because of it. But he was a pothead and that really bothered me. I tried to get him to stop by claiming that i would cut myself if he smoked weed. I also said that I had a history of mental illness and hospital stays. Apparently the drama with Carrie and Smithifer wasn't enough. I wanted more, and I got it.
Our relationship suffered the biggest blow yet when Lainey told me that Eric was cheating on me withAshley. I couldn't believe it. I was in total shock. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't leave my bed for days. Eric had to have known what he was doing. He had to have known he was hurting me. I knew Ashley was a slut and a whore but I didn't think she'd ever had a reason to hurt me. It turns out, she didn't need one. But why did she hurt Shane? It wasn't the first time she took advantage of his good nature and faith in her. Eric's and my relationship, however, had another challenge: the chat's resident stoner, Ron. He was always trying to expose some scandal or secret but also pretended to be everyone's friend. He was definitely two-faced. I was always cared of him telling Eric how I felt and that I didn't trust Eric. Eric hated when Iconfided inRon because he didn't trust Ron, either. Eric wanted the whole mess he caused to go way and my talking to Ron just perpetuated it all. That's whenI realized that my emotions had overpowered my intelligence and logic.
I made Eric feel as guilty as possible as often as I could but I still wanted the whole mess to go away. I wanted to go back when Eric and I had no history with and no attachment to each other. I stumbled upon Ashley's livejournals and read anything I could find about her and Eric but somehow she knew I was lurking. She would come into chat from time to time and talk to random people there, but not any regs. I would just pretend I wasn't around and just read everything she typed. She made me shake and my blood run cold, even after almost a year since she and Eric were finished for good, when she visited him and was fat and ugly; completely different from the fake pictures she sent to everyone. When she came back into the chat for the final time and I saw her screen name after I woke up from my name, i just fell to my knees and sobbed into my mattress. Michelle was there to try to comfort me, but I had lost my mind by then. A few days later, I decided the torment was too great and decided to OD. My body puked up all the pills I took on an empty stomach but later that morning Iwas shaking and couldn't breathe well so my dad took me to the ER and I had to go to the loony bin for a day. I felt so terribly helpless that I wrote an 8 page letter to my doctor and she let me leave after only 24 hours.
It wasn't the first time that Ashley came back to torment me. She came back in October 2004, the first time I thought it was over. I couldn't stand it anymore; I couldn't see the two of them together so I stayed out of the chat and got into bed for several months until I came back home for Christmas break. One night, Eric IMed me, wanting to reconcile, claiming he was done withAshley for good. I believed him and came back to the chat on January 1, appropriately. But a few months later, as previously stated, she DID come back. He WASN'T done with her. And I broke down. She did get to see him, but he didn't want to be with her. They were finally over, but I was always suspicious and made Eric feel guilty every now and then, up until we stopped talking.
Once Eric finally got over Ashley, order was restored the the chat and she never came back. She ended up getting pregnant by some guy named Carl and her daughter will be 4 years old in September. the good times. The good times didn't last long, however. People started growing up and getting real lives. The music0 crew began to disintegrate. Max and Lainey invited me to the powerpuff girls chat where I met a whole new group of people with no sex bots. It was full of mostly arrogant scene kids under legal driving age but I met a kid named Josh who was really nice and fun and actually talked to me all night. Augie would show up from time to time as well. But once I left music0, I lost contact with Michelle, Shane, Carrie, and a lot of others. some had already left, like Joe, Melissa, Jennifer, Dan, and Nicole. n00bs were taking over and it wasn't the same. But neither was PPG. I still came into music0 for a while, until Eric had enough of the lies and secrets. I couldn't tell him the truth so Imade up another vague lie but it didn't suffice this time. Instead of telling him the truth, I decided to end our friendship. By the end of the summer in 2006, word had gotten around that I was the biggest fake in the history of the internet. But they still don't know who I really am. Cindy and Eric still made the occasional attempt to reconnect. But as the months and years wore on, their attempts came less and less often.
I decided that the best thing for me was to get back to the real world so I contacted several of my old high school friends and got together with them. I went to see Fall Out Boy with one of my friends whom I've known since elementary school. I even made some new friends and got a new boyfriend. One that I could talk to, not just in an IM window. I think of everyone less each day than I did the day before. Sometimes days, even weeks go by when I don't think of them at all, until a thought of them blindsides me on some idle afternoon or in the middle of the night. But lately I've been thinking about them a lot, even Ashley. I don't think I'll ever completely stop thinking about them, and I know I'll never forget them. But it's a lot easier to deal with the loss when I have a real life to fall back on.
With the help of Max, a hacker from Florida, I stole all her internet aliases from every imaginable program/site. I even found more of her online journals and took them over, too. I told Eric and he thought it was so funny and wanted to join in. I was so relieved because I thought he would be upset that I was still obsessing over Ashley. To this day, I still check her myspace to see if it's still private. I still look at Eric's facebook and myspace. I still see if Michelle has updated her livejournal. She's married now. I've saved chats, IMs, pictures, and drawings from everyone and they're on a CDin my room. I save the pictures I find onEric's facebook. I wonder if they still think about me or if I'm the only one who reminisces about music0. We had a lot of fun. A bunch of us would go into other chatrooms and scroll the star of David on multiple screen names for hours at a time. We played scrambler where the only answer I wanted to get right was Good Charlotte. I was so good at the states game and got so mad when I lost because of lag. I'd laugh so much with those people. I wish I still knew them.
Timeline:
February 2000 I finally get AOL
April 2002 I semi-often visit the music chat on AOL, pretending to be someone I'm not
October 2002 I get comcast cable internet
August 2003 I go away to college
September 2003 I pretend to be 17 year old Blake Randall from Sacramento, California
March 2004 I come out as being gay
April 2004 Eric and I are boyfriend and boyfriend
April 2004 Eric cheats on me with Ashley
May 2004 I find out
October 2004 Eric and I break up and I leave for a few months
December 2004 Eric wants to reconcile
January 2005 I return to the music0 chat
March 2005 Ashley returns and wants to visit Eric
March 2005 I go off the deep end and try to kill myself via overdose, and subsequently go to the ER
April 2005 to December 2005 I steal Ashley's myspaces, livejournals, greatestjournals, xangas, email addresses, and AIM screen names with the help of Max, the resident hax0r of music0
March 2006 Eric finally had enough of my lies and secrets but I still couldn't tell him the truth. We stop talking
April 2006 I try to contact old friends from high school
July 2006 I meet Patrick in REAL life and start dating him.
July 2006 to March 2007 Eric tries to reconcile but I couldn't face the truth and don't respond to his efforts
Sometime in 2007 the music0 crew disbands
June 2008 Cindy, an on again/off again chat reg gets a summer job with Eric at a summer camp and they begin dating
December 2008 Eric moves to Tampa to attend college with Cindy.
Eric We happened to find the music0 chat around the same time. So close together, in fact, that I don't know which one of us was there first. He likes hip hop and smokes a lot of weed so he and Ashley immediately formed a friendship based on common interests. He was my first and only e-boyfriend and he never considered us to be a real couple. I've never gotten over him and I don't ever want to forget about him
Ashley She was the chat's resident slutbag. She played Joe and Shane, tried to cheat on Shane once with Chris (who was dating Lainey at the time) and started dating Eric when she knew that he was with me. She's pretty much a heartless bitch.
Joe He's a little slow, but he has the best of intentions and a good heart. He left the chat not long after it came out that Eric was cheating on me with Ashley, whom Joe was planning to meet in Las Vegas in July 2004.
Shane I didn't know him very well for the first few months, but when we had heartache in common, we really bonded and he's the nicest, smartest guy I've ever met. He didn't deserve to get hurt like he did.He likes metal and hockey.
Chris He acted a lot older than he was. He had a tough guy, punk rock persona but it soon melted away and he showed that he's a sweet guy but doesn't warm up to new people easily. He was tested by Ashley just after he and Lainey started dating, but he resisted her.
Lainey She's the one who told me about Eric and Ashley. She always made sure everyone was alright and did whatever she could to make them feel better.
Jen/Smithifer I met her the very first time I was in music. It was her first time there, too. I don't know what it was that made us instantly click, but she was my first friend from the chat.
Jennifer She was my best friend in the chat, even though I didn't start talking to her until I needed someone to share my dramatic life with. She's a good listener and a genuine person. I could tell her anything and we would talk for hours.
Ron is unpredictable and not to be trusted but I wanted any kind of sympathy I could get from anyone who would listen so I confided in him when I had no one else, despite my better judgment. He was a shape shifter, and I could never tell if he was being serious or not so he made me really nervous.
Carrie she was the first one who showed me her pictures in chat and I was her little brother and she was my big sister. After our friendship changed, I liked to amuse myself by annoying her with Eric.
Michelle We didn't always get along until she told me about how poorly Ashley treated her, too. I felt sorry for her and saw that she really is a good, caring person. She sent me a birthday card she made for me. She was there the night I saw Ashley and Eric talking in the chat for the first time in months before Iwas sent to the loony bin. She was always the voice of reason.
Cindy she was 14 when I first met her. She liked Eric and she told me, so I appreciated her honesty. She said that she wouldn't go after him as long as I was still not over him. After I abandoned my friendships though, I shouldn't mind that they're dating but I do because I still want to be with him and now they're living together. I'm secretly hoping it won't work out, even though she has every right to date him. I don't deserve to get what I want.
Similar posts: erotic wallpaper
It all started in 2002 when I still had AOLand was allowed only 1 hour of internet a day. I would use it to go into the music chatroom on AOL and pretend to be someone else. Someone I totally made up, but whose life was far more interesting than mine. I didn't get too attached to it and found other things to do by the time I was a senior and we got rid of AOL and got comcast later that year. Ihad unlimited access to the internet but Iplayed neopets every chance II forgot about chatrooms and instant messenger until I went off to college in fall 2003. Freshmen couldn't have cars and I was a social recluse so there wasn't much for me to do but stay in my room. The internet was down for nearly a month because of a virus a freshman brought in with their new computer that ate its way through the routers. Once internet access was restored, however, I downloaded AIM and created a new persona for new people to love.
I called myself Blake, born on March 10, 1986, an 17 year old only child from Maryland who moved to Sacramento California just a couple years ago and loved Good Charlotte and Blink 182. I claimed I was so smart that Iskipped 9th grade. I made up some pretty outrageous things during the first few days to make myself appear worth knowing, because who would ever want to know Robin, an 18 year old college Freshman from Richmond, Virginia who never even left the country, let alone the East Coast. I was a boring person. Boring and ordinary. The first few days I used AIM and its chatrooms, Icouldn't tell the difference between music0 and music1, until a guy named Joe from Michigan told me to come into music0. I was already making friends. People liked me. I liked that. I should've stopped after a few days, but I got so attached that I would stay up all night and miss class so I could make up the sleep that I missed talking to Carrie, Michelle, and Joe the night before.
At first I was worried that Iwould be found out. That someone would track my IP or ask for pictures that I didn't have, or want to talk to me on the phone. It would've been easier that way; I could've just stopped getting online. I could've made a new screen name and I could've been honest. The drama that unfolded over the next few months certainly wouldn't have happened if Iweren't such an attention whore.
I developed a particularly close bond with a girl named Carrie, from New Jersey and one day she confessed to liking me a lot. So much so that it strained our friendship and caused her to lie to me that she was over it. It made talking a little easier but I tried to blow it out of proportion and milk the drama for all it was worth. I complained to as many people as I could about how appalled and hurt I was that she didn't think I deserved to know the truth, and that she couldn't be straight with her feelings about me. It made me sound a lot more trustworthy if I got that upset over someone else's lies.Iadded a twist to the whole situation by claiming to be in love with a girl named Jen, whom I called Smithifer. It was our own little e-triangle. It was some drama, but it wasn't enough. I told a select few people that I was experiencing kidney failure as a direct result of my diabletes I've had all my life.If I didn't get a kidney transplant, I had only 6 months to live. I figured I'd be over the chatroom and my new friends by then.
In my real life, I was experiencing college and living away from home for the first time. I have a desperate desire to please people and I have the hardest time saying no, so I joined a couple BIble groups that were just a waste of time to me. Ifinally couldn't take it anymore and resign myself to complete and total honesty, except on the intet because it's only the internet. It turned out to be my whole life for way too long.
Concerning my situation with Carrie and her unresolved feelings for me, Ibegan to confide in another Jen whom Icalled Jennifer for clarification. Joe began to confide in me about a girl named Ashley who was playing mind games with him and another guy named Shane. She ultimately chose Shane and Joe was crushed but she didn't stop there. She tried to steal Chris away from Lainey while she was still with Shane. And eventually, stole the first and so far only guy I've ever loved. I've never loved anyone more.
His name is Eric and we did not get along at all at first. We clashed over Ashley from the beginning.Even before he cheated with her on me. Carrie and I said what a horrible, heartless, selfish person she is, but he wouldn't listen. Ashley and my relationship was never officially defined as anything. We were nice to each other most of the time, in passing. But we never talked intimately after she thought I betrayed her by talking smack about her behind her back. Maybe that's why she stole my Eric away. But it wasn't until April 2004, only a few weeks after Eric and I decided to date because Ihad recently come out as being gay. Another twist in my internet fantasy life that would haunt me to this day.
Eric thought I was stupid and hyper and a clown. He didn't respect me because he didn't think I respected Ashley, who was still with Shane while she and Eric were gradually getting closer. But one day I said something intelligent and his whole perception of me changed. Since then we were inseparable. We did everything together in the chatroom. We had the same fonts and said the same things and liked the same music and had the same sense of humor. We even liked to annoy the same people. He defended me countless times to numerous people and lost a lot of friends because of it. But he was a pothead and that really bothered me. I tried to get him to stop by claiming that i would cut myself if he smoked weed. I also said that I had a history of mental illness and hospital stays. Apparently the drama with Carrie and Smithifer wasn't enough. I wanted more, and I got it.
Our relationship suffered the biggest blow yet when Lainey told me that Eric was cheating on me withAshley. I couldn't believe it. I was in total shock. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't leave my bed for days. Eric had to have known what he was doing. He had to have known he was hurting me. I knew Ashley was a slut and a whore but I didn't think she'd ever had a reason to hurt me. It turns out, she didn't need one. But why did she hurt Shane? It wasn't the first time she took advantage of his good nature and faith in her. Eric's and my relationship, however, had another challenge: the chat's resident stoner, Ron. He was always trying to expose some scandal or secret but also pretended to be everyone's friend. He was definitely two-faced. I was always cared of him telling Eric how I felt and that I didn't trust Eric. Eric hated when Iconfided inRon because he didn't trust Ron, either. Eric wanted the whole mess he caused to go way and my talking to Ron just perpetuated it all. That's whenI realized that my emotions had overpowered my intelligence and logic.
I made Eric feel as guilty as possible as often as I could but I still wanted the whole mess to go away. I wanted to go back when Eric and I had no history with and no attachment to each other. I stumbled upon Ashley's livejournals and read anything I could find about her and Eric but somehow she knew I was lurking. She would come into chat from time to time and talk to random people there, but not any regs. I would just pretend I wasn't around and just read everything she typed. She made me shake and my blood run cold, even after almost a year since she and Eric were finished for good, when she visited him and was fat and ugly; completely different from the fake pictures she sent to everyone. When she came back into the chat for the final time and I saw her screen name after I woke up from my name, i just fell to my knees and sobbed into my mattress. Michelle was there to try to comfort me, but I had lost my mind by then. A few days later, I decided the torment was too great and decided to OD. My body puked up all the pills I took on an empty stomach but later that morning Iwas shaking and couldn't breathe well so my dad took me to the ER and I had to go to the loony bin for a day. I felt so terribly helpless that I wrote an 8 page letter to my doctor and she let me leave after only 24 hours.
It wasn't the first time that Ashley came back to torment me. She came back in October 2004, the first time I thought it was over. I couldn't stand it anymore; I couldn't see the two of them together so I stayed out of the chat and got into bed for several months until I came back home for Christmas break. One night, Eric IMed me, wanting to reconcile, claiming he was done withAshley for good. I believed him and came back to the chat on January 1, appropriately. But a few months later, as previously stated, she DID come back. He WASN'T done with her. And I broke down. She did get to see him, but he didn't want to be with her. They were finally over, but I was always suspicious and made Eric feel guilty every now and then, up until we stopped talking.
Once Eric finally got over Ashley, order was restored the the chat and she never came back. She ended up getting pregnant by some guy named Carl and her daughter will be 4 years old in September. the good times. The good times didn't last long, however. People started growing up and getting real lives. The music0 crew began to disintegrate. Max and Lainey invited me to the powerpuff girls chat where I met a whole new group of people with no sex bots. It was full of mostly arrogant scene kids under legal driving age but I met a kid named Josh who was really nice and fun and actually talked to me all night. Augie would show up from time to time as well. But once I left music0, I lost contact with Michelle, Shane, Carrie, and a lot of others. some had already left, like Joe, Melissa, Jennifer, Dan, and Nicole. n00bs were taking over and it wasn't the same. But neither was PPG. I still came into music0 for a while, until Eric had enough of the lies and secrets. I couldn't tell him the truth so Imade up another vague lie but it didn't suffice this time. Instead of telling him the truth, I decided to end our friendship. By the end of the summer in 2006, word had gotten around that I was the biggest fake in the history of the internet. But they still don't know who I really am. Cindy and Eric still made the occasional attempt to reconnect. But as the months and years wore on, their attempts came less and less often.
I decided that the best thing for me was to get back to the real world so I contacted several of my old high school friends and got together with them. I went to see Fall Out Boy with one of my friends whom I've known since elementary school. I even made some new friends and got a new boyfriend. One that I could talk to, not just in an IM window. I think of everyone less each day than I did the day before. Sometimes days, even weeks go by when I don't think of them at all, until a thought of them blindsides me on some idle afternoon or in the middle of the night. But lately I've been thinking about them a lot, even Ashley. I don't think I'll ever completely stop thinking about them, and I know I'll never forget them. But it's a lot easier to deal with the loss when I have a real life to fall back on.
With the help of Max, a hacker from Florida, I stole all her internet aliases from every imaginable program/site. I even found more of her online journals and took them over, too. I told Eric and he thought it was so funny and wanted to join in. I was so relieved because I thought he would be upset that I was still obsessing over Ashley. To this day, I still check her myspace to see if it's still private. I still look at Eric's facebook and myspace. I still see if Michelle has updated her livejournal. She's married now. I've saved chats, IMs, pictures, and drawings from everyone and they're on a CDin my room. I save the pictures I find onEric's facebook. I wonder if they still think about me or if I'm the only one who reminisces about music0. We had a lot of fun. A bunch of us would go into other chatrooms and scroll the star of David on multiple screen names for hours at a time. We played scrambler where the only answer I wanted to get right was Good Charlotte. I was so good at the states game and got so mad when I lost because of lag. I'd laugh so much with those people. I wish I still knew them.
Timeline:
February 2000 I finally get AOL
April 2002 I semi-often visit the music chat on AOL, pretending to be someone I'm not
October 2002 I get comcast cable internet
August 2003 I go away to college
September 2003 I pretend to be 17 year old Blake Randall from Sacramento, California
March 2004 I come out as being gay
April 2004 Eric and I are boyfriend and boyfriend
April 2004 Eric cheats on me with Ashley
May 2004 I find out
October 2004 Eric and I break up and I leave for a few months
December 2004 Eric wants to reconcile
January 2005 I return to the music0 chat
March 2005 Ashley returns and wants to visit Eric
March 2005 I go off the deep end and try to kill myself via overdose, and subsequently go to the ER
April 2005 to December 2005 I steal Ashley's myspaces, livejournals, greatestjournals, xangas, email addresses, and AIM screen names with the help of Max, the resident hax0r of music0
March 2006 Eric finally had enough of my lies and secrets but I still couldn't tell him the truth. We stop talking
April 2006 I try to contact old friends from high school
July 2006 I meet Patrick in REAL life and start dating him.
July 2006 to March 2007 Eric tries to reconcile but I couldn't face the truth and don't respond to his efforts
Sometime in 2007 the music0 crew disbands
June 2008 Cindy, an on again/off again chat reg gets a summer job with Eric at a summer camp and they begin dating
December 2008 Eric moves to Tampa to attend college with Cindy.
Eric We happened to find the music0 chat around the same time. So close together, in fact, that I don't know which one of us was there first. He likes hip hop and smokes a lot of weed so he and Ashley immediately formed a friendship based on common interests. He was my first and only e-boyfriend and he never considered us to be a real couple. I've never gotten over him and I don't ever want to forget about him
Ashley She was the chat's resident slutbag. She played Joe and Shane, tried to cheat on Shane once with Chris (who was dating Lainey at the time) and started dating Eric when she knew that he was with me. She's pretty much a heartless bitch.
Joe He's a little slow, but he has the best of intentions and a good heart. He left the chat not long after it came out that Eric was cheating on me with Ashley, whom Joe was planning to meet in Las Vegas in July 2004.
Shane I didn't know him very well for the first few months, but when we had heartache in common, we really bonded and he's the nicest, smartest guy I've ever met. He didn't deserve to get hurt like he did.He likes metal and hockey.
Chris He acted a lot older than he was. He had a tough guy, punk rock persona but it soon melted away and he showed that he's a sweet guy but doesn't warm up to new people easily. He was tested by Ashley just after he and Lainey started dating, but he resisted her.
Lainey She's the one who told me about Eric and Ashley. She always made sure everyone was alright and did whatever she could to make them feel better.
Jen/Smithifer I met her the very first time I was in music. It was her first time there, too. I don't know what it was that made us instantly click, but she was my first friend from the chat.
Jennifer She was my best friend in the chat, even though I didn't start talking to her until I needed someone to share my dramatic life with. She's a good listener and a genuine person. I could tell her anything and we would talk for hours.
Ron is unpredictable and not to be trusted but I wanted any kind of sympathy I could get from anyone who would listen so I confided in him when I had no one else, despite my better judgment. He was a shape shifter, and I could never tell if he was being serious or not so he made me really nervous.
Carrie she was the first one who showed me her pictures in chat and I was her little brother and she was my big sister. After our friendship changed, I liked to amuse myself by annoying her with Eric.
Michelle We didn't always get along until she told me about how poorly Ashley treated her, too. I felt sorry for her and saw that she really is a good, caring person. She sent me a birthday card she made for me. She was there the night I saw Ashley and Eric talking in the chat for the first time in months before Iwas sent to the loony bin. She was always the voice of reason.
Cindy she was 14 when I first met her. She liked Eric and she told me, so I appreciated her honesty. She said that she wouldn't go after him as long as I was still not over him. After I abandoned my friendships though, I shouldn't mind that they're dating but I do because I still want to be with him and now they're living together. I'm secretly hoping it won't work out, even though she has every right to date him. I don't deserve to get what I want.
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